Tech Bros Inventing Things That Already Exist

It seems like every day the tech industry comes out with a "brilliant new idea” that turns out to be merely a reinvention of a mundane product that already existed. Tech bros keep reinventing the bus, but they have also taken to reinventing the tea pot, the toothbrush, the lunchbreak and the public park.  In today's video we look at the tech products that either already existed or should never have existed.

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Transcript

A few days ago, someone atted me on Twitter with this Headline from the FT – about how Masayoshi Son compared himself to both Jesus Christ and The Beatles.  Now I don’t know why anyone would send me an article like this, as this is neither a theology channel nor is it an entomology channel.  I have no way of judging the accuracy of either of these claims. I’m going to guess that they are true, as there is no reason that Masayoshi Son would lie about something like this. He possibly is a lot like Jesus Christ, but maybe instead of making the comparison himself, he should just grow a beard, get some sandals, dress all in white and then let other people bring it up.  That is what I would do in such a situation.  His name is Son – so who knows – definitely not me.

I read the article anyway – which I’m fairly sure was meant for some other Patrick Boyle – I googled and there are a few priests and at least one entomologist with the same name as me. It seems that Son said that Jesus and the Beatles (who I have since learned were a band – it’s not the kind of music I cover here). But he said that Jesus was also misunderstood and criticized and went on to say that the Beatles weren’t initially popular, either. 

Now, like I said, I’m not a theologist nor am I Rick Beato – it’s not for me to decide if the Beatles were initially popular.  I hadn’t even heard of them till a few minutes ago when I googled them – so I’m sure Son is right – they are probably an underground band – never appreciated in their time – much like Softbank.

Son did tell the FT that the Softbank Vision Fund would tackle “the biggest challenges and risks facing humanity today” – which strikes me as being extremely noble. I think that Jesus would probably do the exact same thing if he was running a large venture capital fund – and that really is the great thing about venture capital and tech bros in general – there are other people out there who make fun of them – but without them, who would be looking out for humanity. 

The kind of people who make fun of Tech Bros often forget the historical context around some of the big innovations that were backed by VC firms like Softbank.  Naysayers will say (for example) that shared office spaces have been around forever – but people my age will remember that pre 2010, the biggest challenge and risk facing humanity was the lack of Ikea furniture and free beer available in these shared office spaces.  When Adam Neumann and his firm We Work arrived on the scene – dressed all in white and barefoot – Masayoshi saw the light and funded this remarkable tech start up.  I think there also was an app – but that might not have worked…

Sure, sometimes technology looks like two bicycle mechanics building the first airplane in a shed, but other times it looks like a beer tap in the office, and an app on your phone – so that you can complain when the beer has run out.

The path of innovation is often not clear… Sometimes we can come up with ideas only to learn that someone else came up with that idea already, like when David Bowie accidentally ripped off the main riff of Ice Ice baby. Here is a clip of David explaining. [Clip]

Silicon Valley Tech Bros - have occasionally – not unlike David Bowie – come up with ideas that already existed.  They are well known for repeatedly inventing the bus. 

Famous examples are Lyft who announced a service they called Lyft Shuttle, which would be cheaper than a taxi and run on a predesignated route picking passengers up and dropping them off at regular stops – like a bus. Uber even launched a service which allowed riders to save money by waiting for their Uber at a pre-arranged stop, share it with strangers, and get dropped off at any point along a predetermined route. That was a bus too.  Elon Musk announced his idea for a bus on twitter.  He called it the Boring Company Urban Loop system saying that it would have thousands of small stations the size of a single parking space that would take you very close to your destination and blend seamlessly into the fabric of a city – rather than a small number of big stations like a subway.

Later the Boring Company went on to build the Las Vegas Loop – which was not really as good as a bus – and possibly the most disappointing transportation innovation in history, where it was just Tesla’s being driven slowly in an unnecessarily small tunnel.  I’m trying to raise VC funding right now to add one of those miniature trains to the loop which would massively increase its capacity – and make it more fun.  The fact that it runs on rails would additionally make it a full-self-driving (supervised) system – which would be amazing…

So, Let’s look at the thing’s tech bros invented that already existed, and some of the things that they invented that should never have existed. 

It seems that the worst Silicon Valley inventions are the ones that are pitched as being tech products when there is no real technology involved or if there is technology, it just wasn’t needed. For some reason a lot of these products are food and beverage innovations.

A good example of this type of innovation is when tech bros reinvented the water bottle with the “Hydrate Spark” which is pitched as “a connected water bottle that tracks your water intake and glows to make sure that you don’t forget to drink” There is of course an internet connected smartphone app so that your hydration can be stored in the cloud... In the top review on Amazon a guy named Daniel says that he loves how it integrates with his phone so it recalculates his daily water needs, he says that he honestly can’t think of anything wrong with it, and as a testament to its durability he writes that it “survived burning man” – of course it did.  I imagine that it is a disaster if you have one of these bottles and you drink out of a different container – as then how will the bottle know how hydrated you are.  Maybe that is what the app is for – you can hopefully let your bottle know if you have cheated on it.  Maybe it then glows in a different color to indicate its disappointment.  I should really design these products…

It seems like about fifteen or twenty years ago that otherwise healthy people started saying that they felt hypoglycemic and dehydrated instead of hungry and thirsty.  Now we have people charging bottles overnight and connecting them to their phones so that they no longer have to rely on their hypothalamus for basic physiological functions.  I suppose I’ll put an amazon affiliate link to the Hydrate Spark bottle in the video description – but I will be disappointed if you actually buy it. 

Soylent is another tech bro invention, thought up by a software engineer named Rob Rhinehart who says that he used to view food as a time-consuming hassle. He says that he resolved to treat it as an engineering problem and came up with a meal replacement shake. That’s how Rob invented Slim Fast but for tech bros.

I’m not sure how wise it is to have someone who views food as a time-consuming hassle prepare meals for you, but is the high tech world we live in today, so just stop your complaining and drink your lunch…

Rob wrote on his blog a few years ago about getting rid of his kitchen “This home manufacturing center has been by far the most liberating to eliminate.”

A New York Times review described Soylent as a punishingly boring, joyless product that causes flatulence as a side effect. So, yeah – why not drink that at the office. Its inventor – Rob responded - saying that this side effect was likely to be temporary and was just the result of adjusting to the government-recommended amount of dietary fiber. Once again…  Amazon link in the description…

One of the most amusing non tech - tech products in recent years was the Juicero – which Bloomberg described a few years ago as “an unlikely investment for the top technology investors.”   Nonetheless, Juicero raised $120 million dollars in venture capital funding from firms like Google Ventures and Kleiner Perkins.

A reporter at Vox wrote that “Juicero’s business plan reads like a pitch-perfect parody of contemporary startup culture.” Its inventor compared himself to Steve Jobs and explained that the Juicero squeezed juice with the force of two Tesla’s.  I’m told that Tesla’s have now become the standards of weights and measures used in Silicon valley.  Each Juicero pouch – I believe contained one pico tesla of chopped fruit.

One investor told the press that they were drawn to the idea of an internet-connected device that transforms single-serving packets of chopped fruits and vegetables into a refreshing and healthy beverage. 

Another said that Juicero was building a “platform” for a new model of food delivery and that the subscription-based model is reminiscent of other food delivery startups like Blue Apron and Nature Box. 

A Bloomberg reporter noted that squeezing the fruit bags by hand yielded nearly the same amount of juice as the $400 dollar device and was often quicker. Juicero responded that most people would prefer to use the machine because the process is more consistent and less messy. It turns out that people didn’t want to use the machine, and the company went bankrupt.

The founder of Juicero was last seen promoting $40 dollar jugs of what he calls “raw water” – which I believe is tech speak for “dirty water that he found.” He told a reporter that he will sometimes trespass across private property under the cover of night to collect this raw water.  He has recently written a book on the “mind-blowing” nutritional benefits of sprouts – link in the description…

Now Teaforia was another technology innovation from Mountain View whose pitch was that their device elegantly blends the rich tradition of tea with technology to create the perfect modern tea experience. So, yeah, it was a $1500 dollar tea pot with an app. This "internet-connected tea infuser," used "machine learning" and "advanced algorithms" to produce the perfect cup of tea.

Sadly Teforia is gone – you cant buy one anymore, but in a five star review a fellow named Robert writes,  I love this machine. He goes on to say, “You don't need the pods because you have the app. you can throw any loose leaf tea in it”. That sounds great, wait till Robert learns that he doesn’t need the app either – it’ll blow his mind.

Another fellow – Seth (it’s always guys – isn’t it), wrote a review having bought a Teforia (hopefully at a discount) after the company had gone bankrupt.  He only gave it a four-star review.  He seems to love the tea pot - but then realized that no one was updating the app now that the company was bankrupt – and by the time he wrote his review, this seemed to be driving him over the edge.

He writes in all caps: YOU CAN'T USE THE TEFORIA IF YOU DON'T HAVE A SMARTPHONE. He goes on to say – “Yes you can use the little cups without your phone” yep Seth – that’s the great thing about cups… But he says ”the true usability comes from the Teforia app”.

He says - On the surface it is the best tea maker money can buy, and he says “It is changing the way I drink and make tea for the better. But underneath is a ticking time bomb of uncertainty. If the app isn't updated, I will eventually lose the ability to use my Teforia.

That sounds awfully stressful to me…

Look, tech bros are obviously not big fans of food – and that’s ok – as long as they are getting their government-recommended amount of dietary fiber – and not sitting next to me I’m fine with that.  One of the giveaways that food isn’t a big deal for tech workers came a few years ago when Mira – the “Chief People Officer” at the food delivery app “Just Eat” posted on LinkedIn that Just Eat had invented the “Power Hour.”  What’s that you might wonder?  Well, it was an hour during the workday when you could take a break from meetings, go for a walk, even have lunch.  She finished up her post by saying “Another way we continue to brilliantly enhance the lives of “Just Eaters” everywhere!”  Yes, that’s right, Mira had invented the lunchbreak…

The LinkedIn post was quickly deleted – after people cruelly made fun of it - and Just Eat told the press that “the general public had humorously brought to their attention that they didn't do a very good job of explaining their intention to remind their staff to prioritize their own wellbeing and get away from their laptops."

Another great invention was - the “Pause Pod”  which was pitched as a “private pop-up space free from stressful moments” designed by a team of inventors and advertisers based in Sweden. Here is a picture… That’s a tent… A tent in your office.

The inventor of the “pause pod” told the press that in the initial crowdfunding round, the team had set out to raise ten thousand dollars but instead brought in over a hundred thousand dollars. With pre-orders, that amount grew to about $140,000, with nearly 2,000 Pause Pods ordered.  

He said, “you get it if you're familiar with feeling stressed and doing meditation or mindfulness.” After people made fun of it on Twitter, the founder said that he had never claimed that it wasn’t a tent. – which is true…  I’ll put a link to a tent down in the description – if you need one of those…  There’s some great gift ideas in this video.

Tech bros in recent years invented roommates – calling it the trend of co living – where people live together, each having their own spaces but with some shared rooms.  With Bodega – they invented the vending machine – raising two and a half million dollars in funding for what was described as smart-store kiosks powered by AI that you can operate using your phone! 

You don’t even have to work in Tech to come up with these ideas – back in 2020 a Canadian reporter pitched her startup idea on twitter: “Private backyards for people who don't have private backyards,” She said, “I would pay $5 to rent a fenced area for an hour so I could safely play fetch with my dog while doing an outdoor summer workout. If it works for bikes and office space, why not land?” 

Lauren made the mistake of pitching this idea to the public on twitter rather than to venture capitalists and instead of raising money, people just made fun of her for inventing public parks.

With the current excitement around AI, we are seeing a bunch of AI products that are just worse versions of things we already have. Amazon has become inundated with AI generated books. Apparently it has become such an issue that to combat it they have started restricting authors to self-publishing a maximum of three books per day on their platform – which I imagine is unfairly holding back some of the more productive authors.

There are all sorts of startups pitching AI therapy – where a chat bot helps you with your problems.  It’s hard to think of anything more depressing than that.

Spotify announced earlier this year an AI DJ feature which will pick music for you to listen to.  Isn’t that what Spotify already does??

Microsoft has been forcing AI features into all of their products whether users want them or not – I guess they have to justify how much they have been spending.  

Oral B has an AI powered toothbrush – which of course connects to an app on your phone.  They say they have trained the toothbrush on thousands of different users to assess the different brushing styles.  It seems you brush your teeth while looking at your phone, and the app tells you if you missed a spot… It doesn’t actually learn from your tooth brushing – Look I don’t know what it does… Link in the description…

It's hard to know if we have reached peak AI yet, but I saw in the news this morning that you can now buy a purse that is made out of an Nvidia GPU…

I have already made a whole video about Adam Neumann who pitched short term office rentals as being technology and talked about Peloton who sold expensive exercise bikes with a $40 dollar a month subscription fee.  The bike wouldn’t work if your internet went down. There were also tech bro companies like Washboard, which charged subscribers $27 to send them $20 worth of laundry quarters every month.

Sometimes Silicon Valley doesn’t just invent physical products that already exist, they invent websites that already exist – the kind of websites they should probably have heard of.  A few years ago, the founder of the dating app Bumble launched Bumble Bizz bringing the companies women-first angle to professional networking. She invented a strange version of LinkedIn where you couldn’t just search for someone in your industry, you instead had to swipe left or right on whoever else was also logged into the app.  I don’t believe this worked out…

Tech bros reinvented the Space Race too. Here is a clip of Elon Musk announcing his plan to land a man on the moon. [JFK Clip].  The tech bro space race really heated up during the pandemic as all sorts of Space businesses were taken public as SPACS.  While listing as a SPAC provided a shortcut to the stock market without the rigors of the IPO process, these newly listed companies were still subject to the regulatory and public scrutiny that comes with being a publicly traded firm.

It’s only so surprising that a large number of Space SPACS have since been delisted after stock price declines and missed regulatory filings. Over the last few years – according to “Space News” nearly half of the Space SPAC companies have announced significant workforce reductions, many have since been sold off on the cheap, taken private, given up on space or even shut down.  There have been numerous failed launches.  The one bright spot on the horizon is that Elon Musk announced over the weekend that Space X will start flying Mars missions in just two years’ time – so that will definitely happen…

Tech bros have been busy in recent years disrupting the world of finance, they have reinvented money and payments with cryptocurrencies and reinvented markets and financial transactions with WEB3. They reinvented the receipt with NFT’s.  Some of this reinvention made certain payments faster and cheaper by ignoring the law and industry best practices. Things like anti money laundering regulations and know your customer rules can add significant costs for financial firms.

Web3 was supposed to somehow make transactions free or extremely cheap - while making large sums of money for the people who invested in it.  It is hard to understand how these goals could be achieved simultaneously.

The conflict at the heart of fintech is that tech companies focus on product and user experience with the aim of reducing friction to ensure seamlessness. This focus often takes precedence over compliance matters. According to the ABA 93% of fintechs struggle to meet compliance requirements and over 60% of fintech companies paid at least $250 thousand dollars in compliance fines in 2023, stemming from a lack of transaction monitoring, insufficient customer due diligence, and a failure to report suspicious actions. Traditional financial firms often manage to have compliance problems – but without a focus on user experience – which is also a thing you can do.

More and more we are reading news about how people who used to love their smart phones now hate them.  Some argue that the reason behind this is that in recent years apps have been optimized not to make a user’s life easier but instead to maximize the time spent on the app and to maximize user engagement. Why does a water bottle, a teapot or a toothbrush come with an app – no one was asking for this??  Social media no longer shows a user the photos or tweets that their friends uploaded – instead showing them content created by total strangers that might anger them enough to respond, or to scroll through the responses looking for comments that agree with their point of view.  This is how you keep an audience scrolling.

We are seeing a strong push to ban smartphones at schools because of how they affect young children. Studies show a relationship between high smartphone use and mental health disorders even amongst adults.

To be clear – I am not anti tech.  I love technology – without it my career in finance would not have been possible and I wouldn’t be able to make videos like these which I love making.  You’ll possibly have noticed that none of the products I have made fun of are really all that high tech – they are mostly non tech products pitched as if they were tech to achieve a higher valuation.  It is no surprise that people like Elizabeth Holmes and Sam Bankman Fried pitched their non tech products to tech investors, as specialists in their industries would have – and did spot the flaws in what was being sold. 

I am by no means saying that all new technology is junk – the tech industry has hugely improved the way we live - but it's important not to be tricked by marketing.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s podcast – the podcast is listener funded by supporters on Patreon.  If you want to sign up for that there is a link in the show notes.  Have a great week and talk to you again soon, bye.